what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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