But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize