Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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