they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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