that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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