biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
