How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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