Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
