the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Randomize
