I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
