your thong is hanging out like whoa
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
