well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
