The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
