I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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