Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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