But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
