You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
