Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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