k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
