She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
