we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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