I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
