I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
