What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dude. I can hear the air.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
