the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
