last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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