god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
