I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
