the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
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