Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
