Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
