I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There r osticjed everywhere
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
