Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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