Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
