So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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