sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
