Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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