Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
