Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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