Pants 0. Shit 1.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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