Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
