his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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