Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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