Your tits are I can't wait for
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
