I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
