I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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