Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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