i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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