Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
