I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
