i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
