my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
