we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Mom said you looked used
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize