Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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