big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
