it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
