I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
