at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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