We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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