i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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