Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
