Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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