I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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